Guilt

I keep wanting to write to you.  I keep thinking, "She'll need this someday.  I need to go type this up for her."  But wow, life is SOOOO incredibly busy.  I plan to come back to this post.  I want to tell you about your tongue tie surgery.  I want to tell you about your refusal to sleep and the effect it is having on my brain.  I want to tell you about weakness, and friendship, and prayers.  I want to tell you about Little 500 week, about The Boston Marathon Explosions, and about how completely crazy it is that you are crawling and you aren't even five months old.  But I can't right now.  I can't tell you because I have a zillion things to accomplish before our family comes for your baptism on Sunday.  I can't tell you because so much of it is still so fresh that it stings.  I can't tell you because right now I'd rather just hold you.  Today I'm not willing to miss a minute of your being little, of your needing me, of your being blissfully unaware of the evils of this world.  But I'll share with you this little note from a friend, though I pray you never need it.

"Remember, guilt does not come from God. And I'm fairly certain He does not want these high standards to come at the sacrifice of your own well being. One of the best ways to teach your children to take care of themselves is to let them see you take care of yourself. How can you fully love someone else, the way God intended (love one another as you love yourself) if you don't love yourself enough to take care of you too? Don't sacrifice yourself, you are important too!"

Love you baby girl, 
Momma